Its been a while. But, I'm still here posting.
I thought of Teresa alot today. Even shed a few tears. Funny, I didn't really recall why I even started crying. It could just hit you quick.
But, today, our high school team went to the State Championships for the 9th year in a row. That's what set my emotional roller coaster off. I thought back to this same time last year, when Teresa was alive. She had started to have some signs of sickness on and off. Having good days and bad ones.
Teresa never was a big fan of football. She just liked it more since her husband, Michael, was really into it. I remember how she slept. How she needed just alittle of assistance then. There were days that I could of offered more of my time to her, even if it was just sitting and watching t.v. with her. Well, at least offered it to Michael so that he could enjoy himself watching the game or whatever. But, did I? No, Teresa would always tell me to go on home and tend to my family. And some days I would.
Why couldn't I see it in her eyes? Or even hear it in her voice. That...she wouldn't be "here" much longer.
I should of listened when she told me that she was too tired. But, I didn't. I kept pushing her to do her physical therapy, to make all her doctors appointments, or to even just get out of bed everyday.
Why didn't I let her rest? To just let her body heal. I thought I was looking out for her. And today, I still think that I was right in some way. You know why? Because after all the falls, wheelchair rides, practically having to pick her up out of one chair to another....Teresa walked again. She walked!
Those were the days that I think blinded me to the fact that I believed she was on the complete road to recovery. From the moment she walked, I just made it up in my mind that there was no turning back for her. But, even after the few short walks that she took, she still said the same thing, "I'm tired".
Why didn't I listen?
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