Another Memorial Day

Today, marks the 16th anniversary of my mothers' death. She died at the age of 46 of sinus cancer.

I would like to share today, the remembrance of my mother. I can remember as far back as around 7yrs old. When my mom worked 2 jobs just to support us 6 kids (our father died a month after I was born of leukemia). My mom walked to and from work (3 miles each way). She was a strong women. One that didn't ask for no hand-outs.

I remember when I was in high school when she told us she had cancer. I didn't really know what it was. I just remember her on the phone telling family that she had it. And I used to ask myself, "why she telling folks?"  And I can recall the drives with my brother and her that we made up to Memphis to get her radiation therapy.  Oh, the looks people gave her for having all those radiation drawings in her face. But, you know what? My mother still held her head up high.  And when her hair fell out. She had the cutest peach fuzz you ever wanted to see. My mother was proud of it too.

But, the sickness soon came and got worse. I remember her barely eating. Or when the home health nurse came to refill her pain pump and to make visits. I remember that last day the nurse was there because it was my mothers birthday and I was due any day with my first child. I asked the nurse was the pain in my back and the constant peeing normal. The nurse told me no and I needed to get to the hospital. I left and went to the hospital. I had my baby girl at 11:59pm ,on my mothers' birthday. A miracle, huh?

Soon the pain got even more unmanageable for her and she was admitted to the swing bed at the local hospital. Little did we know it, my mother would never return home.

The irony of my whole story is this. My sister, Teresa, stayed with my mom at the hospital 24/7. Teresa was at her side through it all. My sister would never leave her alone unless someone else in the family was there with her. Teresa felt that our mom should never be alone. I know Teresa got tired and needed a break, but she never asked for it. She wanted to be there with our mom. I was there the night before she died. I remember sitting there with my new baby and my mom keep singing some gospel songs. And she was acting differently. Just before I left, I cut the reading light on behind her and she laid there mumbling things that I didn't understand why she wasn't making sense.

Yet the next morning was a Monday, January 9th, I had my 6 weeks followup exam at the doctors office. Teresa had to take me and we had to leave at 7am. For some reason Teresa didn't want to leave her by herself until we got back.

As we sat in the busy doctor office, Teresa was getting inpatient cause they were taking so long. Finally an hour and half later, I was in the back to see the doctor. I remember sitting there on the exam table and all of a sudden everything went complete SILENT. I walked over to the door, and looked in the hallways and no one was there. I got scared and back to sit down! I looked up at the clock, it was exactly 11am. I soon thought of my mom for some reason. Then its like the noise came back on or some! And the doctor walked in apologizing for the long wait.

As Teresa and I left there and made a stop by the drive-thru for a quick meal, the song "The Storm Is Over" came on. We looked at each other. As we were driving down the road, we were in complete silence too.

As we made it back to our hometown, we saw her mother-in-law and she flagged us down. She told us we needed to go over to the hospital right away. Teresa looked at me then, and asked me "if momma was okay, would I be alright". I didn't know how to answer that. But, then she said to me "this is why I don't want to ever have kids, cause I don't want them to watch me die." I quickly asked her "what about me then?" She didn't answer.

When we pulled up at the hospital, I saw my moms car parked on the side. I could see all the balloons and flowers that people had given her through the windows of the car. My brother came out and told us "momma died this morning at 11am." (Can you believe the irony of that?) He went on to say that her brother was here when she died. All I could think of then was that out of her 6 kids, none of us were there. That has bothered me for years!

Sorry, that I had such a long post this time. I wanted to tell you about my mother. I re-live this scenario every year! I just wanted to share with you how Teresa was there for my mother everyday while she was in the hospital.And in the end, her husband done the same for her too!

Teresa opened her eyes minutes before she passed away. I will forever believe that she was looking to make sure that she didn't die alone. I was just so thankful that I got to be there with her. 

Forever thankful that I had such a wonderful mother, father and sister. And there lives will forever live through our generations to come.

Will you share your story today?